So our dear friends at the real Overseas Singaporean Unit are organising a Singapore Day 2017 on 9 September 2017 at some venue in Melbourne. Must register your IC number and address and organisation name, for "safety purposes" and absolutely not because Xiao Lee wants to spy on you so you can't keep talking shit about him from the false safety of an actual democracy like Australia.
Singaporean gatherings are pretty common, both to meet new friends, and for the famed "networking" skillz that those stupid job websites always tell you about. Obviously they are organised by not only the Overseas Singaporean Unit, but also by university clubs, informal gatherings, etc. with the OSU often offering some money to help you organise with many terms and conditions attached, kind of like how the state owned enterprises often "help" local businesses in Singapore.
Otherwise, Singaporean gatherings are pretty common - Unless you're in an ulu place where birds don't lay eggs like Alice Springs or something, you are bound to be invited to these gatherings to have an opportunity to compare lives, see who is earning more, who is driving a bigger car, whose kids have better VCE scores, and all those other things I just mentioned.
As we Singaporeans are obviously socially inept having spent all our days getting high maths scores, and with a possible flurry of National Day celebrations coming up to watch some helicopters fly around with the Singapore flag, NSFs march and jump around and for a bunch of people to express how much they love Ah Kong and want him to come back, and for you to express your love for Singapore, because I love Singapore so muchie, here's another stupid useless list of things you absolutely have to do when you go to Singaporean events overseas (not just in Australia):
1. Compare lives
You know the drill. Why would you go to an event like that and not be a true blue Singaporean and compare:
2. Tell everyone how much you love Singapore.
And how you really appreciate how much Singapore after living here (wherever you are). Because like, the train here breaks down okay! And chicken rice is so expensive! And politicians and people protest and speak up when they are unhappy about something - sibei mafan. Tsk tsk tsk. Everything is so much better in Singapore. We luv PAP, PAP lumber one!
3. Not ask those doing Number 2 above why they haven't gone back to Singapore
Don't ask so many questions ok??
4. Not ask who your new friend voted for.
Refer above.
5. Ask whether your friends read blogs from quitters
So you can know if they ish beh kan and read loser blogs like ours and A Singaporean Son. Because we all are losers and have nothing better to do, unlike those satki winners on EDMW and people who attend events like that who are such winners because they comment on losers writing blogs like ours.
Now that's all. Enjoy your $15 chicken rice and the performances from whichever local artiste they decide to bring over!
Nice, lovely Singaporeans who are very interested about your life
Singaporean gatherings are pretty common, both to meet new friends, and for the famed "networking" skillz that those stupid job websites always tell you about. Obviously they are organised by not only the Overseas Singaporean Unit, but also by university clubs, informal gatherings, etc. with the OSU often offering some money to help you organise with many terms and conditions attached, kind of like how the state owned enterprises often "help" local businesses in Singapore.
Otherwise, Singaporean gatherings are pretty common - Unless you're in an ulu place where birds don't lay eggs like Alice Springs or something, you are bound to be invited to these gatherings to have an opportunity to compare lives, see who is earning more, who is driving a bigger car, whose kids have better VCE scores, and all those other things I just mentioned.
As we Singaporeans are obviously socially inept having spent all our days getting high maths scores, and with a possible flurry of National Day celebrations coming up to watch some helicopters fly around with the Singapore flag, NSFs march and jump around and for a bunch of people to express how much they love Ah Kong and want him to come back, and for you to express your love for Singapore, because I love Singapore so muchie, here's another stupid useless list of things you absolutely have to do when you go to Singaporean events overseas (not just in Australia):
Guess who's back? Back again~~~
1. Compare lives
You know the drill. Why would you go to an event like that and not be a true blue Singaporean and compare:
- Your kids' school results
- Your car
- Your dick
- Your salary and job
- Your house
- How much better you're doing in Australia compared to Singapore
- How much you know because you read one article about migrating?
- You know the rest.
Please make the conversations a lot more interesting and not talk about mundane, boring stuff like soccer, politics, where to eat etc. That's for peasants like me. Which brings me to the next topic...
2. Tell everyone how much you love Singapore.
And how you really appreciate how much Singapore after living here (wherever you are). Because like, the train here breaks down okay! And chicken rice is so expensive! And politicians and people protest and speak up when they are unhappy about something - sibei mafan. Tsk tsk tsk. Everything is so much better in Singapore. We luv PAP, PAP lumber one!
3. Not ask those doing Number 2 above why they haven't gone back to Singapore
Don't ask so many questions ok??
4. Not ask who your new friend voted for.
Refer above.
5. Ask whether your friends read blogs from quitters
So you can know if they ish beh kan and read loser blogs like ours and A Singaporean Son. Because we all are losers and have nothing better to do, unlike those satki winners on EDMW and people who attend events like that who are such winners because they comment on losers writing blogs like ours.
Now that's all. Enjoy your $15 chicken rice and the performances from whichever local artiste they decide to bring over!
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