“We can all identify with number 6. Number
9 will shock you!”
Now that we’ve got
your attention, relax, this isn’t going to be some stupid Buzzfeed / Mothership
listicle even though I’m from that generation. This is going to be another
wordy lecture to millennials on how to live your life from a fellow millennial,
since I’ve done something once (e.g. migrate) and am totally an expert on how
to do it.
A local I was
talking to mentioned how Singapore was so fantastic, but he had heard, how come
1/3 (or 1/5 or whatever the statistic was – according to Asiaone, 42 per cent)
of Singaporeans wanted to leave?! It was a very apt question to myself, and
this is someone who had a detailed understanding of the Singaporean system, its
warts (like Xiaxue and how we do racism better than them whites) and all, and
not one of those “Singapore is so cleeean and modern” angmohs.
I guess there are
really two different types of “venturing” overseas – taking a holiday and lots
of Instagram and Facebook shots for a #holiday and then #sianz #backtowork, or
migrating. Let’s talk migration – not only Australia or the traditional western
countries (Canada, U.K., U.S. etc.) but even China, Hong Kong, Thailand, or where the
money is.
It really depends
on what your motivation is. Do you see yourself staying long-term in Singapore?
If you venture overseas early on and in your 20s and open your eyes, it is very
hard to go back to Singapore with your eyes closed and the “bad influences” of
freedom, human rights, that all these angmoh cultures teach.
You start seeing
the flaws in what you have been brought up to believe is perfect – you question
why the hell are we paying our ministers millions, and why gahmen keeps raising
the minimum CPF sum, how good it must be to be relatives with Ho Jinx during Chinese New Year blackjack,
why a car costs as much as it does in Singapore, etc. etc. and the list goes
on.
Friends who have
gone back to Singapore with rose tinted glasses and fond memories of the times they spent playing
soccer at the void deck have had a reality check in Singaporean working culture
and how Singaporeans behave like the rats in the behavioural sink experiment.
Most
Singaporeans who have never worked overseas might take it as the norm that
there are no labour rights expected in the workplace, but look, Australia has
one of the highest minimum wages and labour protections in the world, and
obviously Australian workers are the most lazy and unproductive because we
actually work from 8.30 to 5pm so that we can all go home and drink VB, instead
of staying in the office until 10PM because we had a two hour meeting from 6pm
to 8pm to discuss the boss’ son’s PSLE results and, and went to buy bubble tea
at 3pm, had a two hour lunchbreak, and spent another 3 hours arguing about why
the work wasn’t done.
Unless you are
privileged and insulated enough from society that you can pretend from your
parents’ Bukit Timah / Sentosa Cove condo that poor people don’t exist and don’t
work hard enough, or just callous enough to turn a blind eye to inequality, or
you are Xiaxue, the wisdom is a curse.
For everyone else
who isn’t in that category, these are basically, the reasons why even Ah Kong
agrees that you should venture overseas young, in line with our listicle theme:
Firstly, so that gahmen can replace you with someone cheaper, better, faster
and also, so
that you become the cheaper, better, faster
Second, so
that you can come back to Singapore, if you really wish to, as FT
Thirdly, Angmoh
countries, especially Australia, is easy one, as your auntie who has travelled
to Australia vineyard once with Chan Brothers, or your NUS cousin, will tell you. We ish
all beh kan and very easy to get top grades in Australia one, but angmoh ish all racist and
won’t let you rise up in their company one, unlike Singapore, which allows SAF
ex-generals to become CEOs!
Number four: It is
normal. Our forefathers, in that show Stepping Out, ventured out too. It is an economic reality and to ensure the survival of yourself and the next generation. We are not quitters (okay we are since Lau Goh say we are)
6.
Last
and most important of all, imagine all the Facebook likes you’ll get when you post
a photo of #AustraliaLyf. Suddenly, all your friends become interested in you!
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